Now that there’s basketball, I feel so many feelings! I’m so anxious! I made a list! 

How bad will Marc Jackson fuck up being a coach?

How bad will Mike Brown fuck up being a coach?

How long until Kobe is fed up with Mike Brown being a fuck up?

How long until the Bulls realize they aren’t as good as everyone thinks they are?

When will the Cavs regret not picking Derrick Williams?

When will the Cavs regret?

The Mavs will lead the league in blown out knees.

Boston will come in a close second.

Charlotte’s best chance is to get their owner to come out of retirement.

Memphis will be terrible. Z-Bo will be third in blown out knees.

The Timberwolves might actually be fun to watch.

Atlanta is a city.

Starting point guard for the Nuggets, Tim Tebow.

OK City. KD. Enuff said.

The only thing the Raptors have going for them is the Jurassic Park trilogy on Blu Ray.

The Sixers have a few things going for them. Most of which is attributed to their uniforms. The rest involves Willenium on repeat during all home games.

I’m secretly a Clippers fan.

Some Nets won’t be able to afford taking the Staten Island fairy next season. 

Remember when we thought the Bucks were going to be good?

John Wall is going to have the longest short season ever.

If Chris Paul joins the Heat. I’m done.

If Dwight Howard makes a movie called Shazzam. I will go see it.

I don’t want to see Derek Fisher on my TV ever again.

The Pistons should just become the Supersonics. Either way, no one will care.

Steve Nash on the Knicks. 

I love the Blazers. Portland thinks they are too corporate.

The New Orleans Hornets are going to change their name to the New Orleans NBAstore.com

The Spurs will win 80% of their regular season games and get swept in the playoffs by the Kings.

Other teams that play professional basketball: the Rockets, the Jazz.